How much of the time are you listening? 🧐

How much of the time are you talking? 🧐

Generally, when I am training leaders and mentors to be “coach like” I say a rough guide to how much time you are listening as the leader compared to your team member should be 70:30. 

➡️ You only want to be talking 30 % of the time - where you ask questions or make statements. The rest of the time you are listening. 👂

This is a good guide to enable your team member-coachee or mentee to discover what they need to do, create awareness and allow them to take responsibility. This then helps them be in the driver's seat of the process. 
 

Agh!! So this happened! 🤦‍♀️

It is great in theory however I was working with a leader last week, let’s call her Jane, in a coaching session where I did a lot more talking than I would normally do as a coach. I reflected on it later and realised I made one of the most fundamental mistakes when coaching!!

I forgot to ask her “has she experienced something like this previously? And what seemed to work?”

And guess what she said she had!! However, I only found this out at the end of the session after I had offered my advice of “what she could do”! And talking a lot of the time. 

I made an assumption early in the session she did not know what to do. And I should know better however I was tired, got lazy and just jumped into advice giving. 😕

So, the lesson here is even after coaching for 24 years we still fall into these traps. Being mindful and alert in those moments are key. 

How are you showing up for the conversation? Do you fall back into advice giving when you're not conscious?

#awarenessmatters #coachingskills #coachingtips #leaderascoach #mentoringmatters #mentoring