One word can change everything

Have you ever noticed the difference between saying:
 

👉 “I have some feedback for you.”
vs.
👉  “I have an observation I’d like to share.”

Having difficult conversations is the number one topic I coach leaders on!

Over the years through experimenting, practising, and reading the research, I’ve learnt that how you frame your feedback conversations makes all the difference.

Before you ever reach a “difficult” feedback moment, here are two simple but powerful things to keep in mind:

1️⃣ Build a foundation of positive feedback.
Make sure you regularly acknowledge and affirm what’s going well. When feedback is balanced, not just about what needs fixing, you build trust and openness.

2️⃣ Ask permission before diving in.
Try: “Is now an okay time to have a conversation about an observation I’ve made?”
This shows respect and empathy. You never know what kind of day someone has had, and asking first helps them feel safe to engage.

And did you notice the subtle language shift there?
“Observation” feels neutral. “Feedback” often triggers defensiveness. That one word can make or break how the conversation lands.

Because remember, feedback alone doesn’t change behaviour.
It’s the coaching that happens around it that truly inspires growth.